I Don't Know What I'm Doing - and That's Okay!

The Myth of the “Expert Mom”

I was raised to be a wife, mother, and homemaker. My entire education revolved around that. Being a stay-at-home mom was my Plan A. Plan B? Becoming a chef. I helped raise 13 siblings, so you’d think I would’ve had a head start. But when I had my first child, and even now, three kids later, I often have no idea what I’m doing.

This idea that we’re ever fully prepared to be moms, or that someone out there has it all figured out, is a big fat myth.

Now, we have social media in our faces 24/7, telling us a thousand ways to be better. And the advice? It contradicts itself constantly. It’s easy to feel like we’ll never know enough or be enough to be the “best” moms for our kids. But that’s a lie straight from the enemy—the one who wants us to believe we’re not capable of fulfilling our God-given calling.

The truth? With God’s help, we are enough. Even when it feels like everything is crashing down around us.

Everyday Moments of “I Don’t Know What I’m Doing”

My kids’ favorite time to desperately need me? Dinner time. Anyone else? They come bawling, wanting to be held or played with, while I’m trying to prep their food. Every night, I face the same internal dilemma: do I finish dinner while they cry, or stop everything to comfort them and risk pushing dinner late?

I still haven’t figured it out. Either way, mom guilt creeps in and whispers, You should be able to do it all.

Then there are the days where the baby needs to nurse, the toddlers are fighting, the laundry is calling my name, the house is a mess, dinner’s not started, and my husband walks in the door—and my heart just sinks. It feels like I’ve failed at everything.

But here’s the thing: it’s not falling apart. I’m not failing. I’m just overwhelmed. And that’s normal.

Motherhood is messy and full of moments where it seems like we should be able to keep all the plates spinning. But we weren’t made to do it all, all the time. And we definitely weren’t made to do it without rest.

The Turning Point: It’s All Normal

Being overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong—it means you’re in it.

Yes, there are things we can do to ease the pressure—routines, decluttering, simplifying. But even the best systems don’t erase the chaos. Watching my own mother navigate a life filled with responsibilities, I’ve learned that the real secret is surrender: leaving it all in God’s hands.

At a recent Great Homeschool Convention in Ohio, a speaker said something that really stuck with me: “You only have to get it 30% right.”

That hit me like a breath of fresh air. I don’t have to do it perfectly. Neither do you.

My aunt once told me, “You can either be fully present and have a messy house, or have a clean house and be absent.” The mess will always be there. These moments with our children won’t.

Where I’m Finding Strength

I’ve learned to lean into three things:

1. Trusting God – That He will use even my mistakes for good. I’m not perfect, and I don’t have to be. I just have to be faithful.

2. Talking to other moms – Just hearing “me too” is often all it takes to feel seen. Knowing I’m not alone helps me breathe again.

3. Giving myself grace – If dinner is two hours late because someone had a meltdown, that’s okay. Life doesn’t follow a perfect schedule, and neither should I.

You’re Not Alone

Stop beating yourself up. Ask God to meet you where you’re at—because He wants to help you. He’s in this with you.

You don’t have to figure it all out today. Even the moms who look like they have it together are carrying their own struggles.

If this resonated with you, I’d love for you to join my email list and be part of a group of moms who are okay with not having all the answers—because none of us do. And that’s okay.

We’re in this together.